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Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong,
by Garrison Keillor

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong,
all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
- Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor PHOTO

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
- Garrison Keillor

 

Thank you, God, for this good life
and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire.
With air conditioning their windows were shut,
they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
- Garrison Keillor

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed,
one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
- Garrison Keillor

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Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and
the decades cannot improve.
- Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
They seem not to notice us, hovering,
averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks,
but what we do for them is never wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

I'm not busy...
a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't
think my schedule looked so busy.
- Garrison Keillor

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
- Garrison Keillor

I think the most un-American thing you can say is,
'You can't say that.'
- Garrison Keillor

I want to resume the life of a shy person.
- Garrison Keillor

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that,
everyone chortles.
- Garrison Keillor

They say such nice things about people at their funerals
that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
- Garrison Keillor

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother
laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
- Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

A minister has to be able to read a clock.
At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast
and get the peas out of the freezer.
- Garrison Keillor

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table -
There's nothing wrong with them,
but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
- Garrison Keillor

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a
lousy newspaper is a joy forever.
- Garrison Keillor

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye,
and deny it.
- Garrison Keillor

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory,
like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
- Garrison Keillor

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
- Garrison Keillor

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.
- Garrison Keillor

A book is a gift you can open again and again.
- Garrison Keillor

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you
wanted but getting what you have,
which once you have got it you may be smart enough
to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
- Garrison Keillor

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.
If we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome.
- Anne Bradstreet

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I welcome change as a great adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Welcome the conquering Hero -
and recognize that the Hero is... ourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I welcome change. I drive change.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope

To me a lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass
is more welcome than the most luxurious Persian rug.
- Helen Keller

Welcome the Unexpected.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler.
- Denis Waitley

They were afraid, never having learned what I taught myself:
Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear.
- G. Gordon Liddy

Beauty is everywhere a welcome guest.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth,
the air and you.
- Langston Hughes

All living souls welcome whatever they are ready to cope with;
all else they ignore,
or pronounce to be monstrous and wrong,
or deny to be possible.
- George Santayana

Such truth, as opposeth no man's profit,
nor pleasure, is to all men welcome.
- Thomas Hobbes

Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.
- Chris Rock

We must honor our country's tradition of openness and
continue to welcome new immigrants.
- Jose Serrano

My background is in hardware design.
I found hardware work to be a welcome change from thousands
of hours of programming and that led to the designs you mentioned.
- David Crane

Moderation of oil prices would be very,
very welcome.
But overall I think we are in a position of stable growth,
sustainable growth, and basically with inflation in check.
- John W. Snow

Welcome those big, sticky, complicated problems.
In them are your most powerful opportunities.
- Ralph Marston

I would heartily welcome the union of East and West
provided it is not based on brute force.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I never dislike anyone that I am in competition with.
I welcome the challenge.
Besides, I get along with just about everyone.
- Dante Hall

I'd seen people overstay their welcome and I didn't
want that to happen at all.
- Bobby Rahal

The Kurdish people welcome the no-fly zone protection,
contrary to the Iraqi regime that is against it.
- Jalal Talabani

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he
will not become a nuisance after three days.
- Titus Maccius Plautus

As a player you are always made to feel welcome,
but at the same time, there is too much pressure.
- David Gower

All of my judges will want to welcome every child into the world,
give them a place at the table.
- Gary Bauer

People will always be tempted to wipe their feet on
anything with 'welcome' written on it.
- Andy Partridge

Our extended family is an integral part of our daily
lives and Connie and I welcome you with open arms.
- Frank Jordan

I'm standing up thinking.
Anybody who wants to listen is welcome.
If not, I'm happy to see them go.
- David Antin

Modeling is the world that I feel most welcome in.
- Brooke Shields

I am not afraid of being sued by white businessmen.
In fact, I should welcome such a law suit.
- Carter G. Woodson

Death is the welcome cessation of idiocy.
- Stephen Evans

Novelty is always welcome but talking pictures are just a fad.
- Irving Thalberg

As they marched, the crowds lining the route broke into applause,
a sweet and deeply felt spontaneous pattering that
was a sort of communal embrace.
Welcome home.
- Lance Morrow

We have to do a film parody for Comic Relief.
We can't decide which film to parody at the moment.
Any ideas welcome, but not Spiderman owing to costume being too tight.
- Dawn French

Humans: become atheists each and all!
God will nevertheless welcome you with all his heart!
- Giovanni Papini

All I really had was my talent.
Without that I wouldn't be welcome at the White House.
- Sammy Davis, Jr.

We must welcome the future, remembering that soon it will be the past;
and we must respect the past,
remembering that it was once all that was humanly possible.
- George Santayana

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
- Wilson Mizner

I welcome the Democrats' ideas on Social Security.
I think it is very important to make a bipartisan reform.
- Jack Kingston

I was labeled a troublemaker, my mom an unfit mother,
and I was not welcome anywhere.
- Ryan White

My mortal foe can no ways wish me a greater harm than England's hate;
neither should death be less welcome unto me than such a mishap betide me.
- Elizabeth I

Welcome to the Salvation Army.
I've never been associated with an offense so nice
about giving the ball away.
- Hayden Fry

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield


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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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