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Two days later I got a call that they wanted to try
by John Ratzenberger

Two days later I got a call that they wanted to try
out the character for seven episodes.
Eleven years and 22 Emmys later, Cliff was still sitting at that bar.
- John Ratzenberger

After all, at end of the day, when you're breathing your last,
it's not your producer, director, or cast mates by your bedside;
it's your children.
Keep that in mind.
- John Ratzenberger

A farce, or slapstick humor, does well universally.
- John Ratzenberger

When I go to the garage to pick up my clubs,
I clean the spider webs off.
- John Ratzenberger

 

Before 1972, no actors got residuals.
They just got paid.
No residuals.
- John Ratzenberger

Hollywood has lost touch with their audience a long time ago.
- John Ratzenberger

I have been raising money for the past 14 years for diabetes research.
- John Ratzenberger

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I always played a soldier, sailor, or policemen.
- John Ratzenberger

Find people who share your values, and you'll conquer the world together.
- John Ratzenberger

Sure, the comedians who swear or use scatological humor can get laughs,
but they're uncomfortable laughs.
- John Ratzenberger

I'd never been to acting school, so I never thought I'd get this far.
- John Ratzenberger

There are technologies you couldn't predict at all when I started.
- John Ratzenberger

It appalls me that the people who decide what Americans
will be watching on the tube have never been to the United States.
Not the real United States.
- John Ratzenberger

You've got to write for your audience.
- John Ratzenberger

In fact, my son learned his first swear word from E.T.
at age five.
The way I look at it, E.T.
stole a bit of my son's childhood.
- John Ratzenberger

I've turned down projects based on raunchiness before.
- John Ratzenberger

From what I can see, too many kids don't learn pride
in their country anymore.
- John Ratzenberger

They need to be re-supplied with energy,
and that energy comes from asking not what your country can do for you,
but from what you can do for your country.
- John Ratzenberger

But from what I can see all around me today,
that America is fading fast, if it's not already gone.
- John Ratzenberger

On my visits back home, if they saw that I was getting a big head,
they'd let me know right away.
- John Ratzenberger

Diabetes affects my family.
One of my kids is affected by it.
- John Ratzenberger

I started improvising the Cliff character,
based on someone I grew up with.
- John Ratzenberger

In L.A., though, people get off busses calling themselves actors,
so many are really not professionals.
- John Ratzenberger

I come from Bridgeport, Connecticut and have friends I grew up with there.
- John Ratzenberger

To them, the real United States is just flyover country.
- John Ratzenberger

You'll be tested every single day.
- John Ratzenberger

So many actors have sheer guts, will,
and determination; they just need some preparation.
- John Ratzenberger

So many people aren't ready for Hollywood -
professionally or practically.
- John Ratzenberger

I'm concerned about the insidious influence of the
media's bad messages that undermine the lessons parents
try to instill in their sons and daughters.
- John Ratzenberger

The pollution they produce, market, sell,
and show to billions around the world is at its core
contemptuous of the country that gave them better lives
than nearly 100 percent of everybody who's ever lived.
And they pass that contempt along for everyone to see.
- John Ratzenberger

The last thing on my mind was to be an actor,
but I had a crush on a cute girl in the drama department,
so the best thing for me to do was audition,
help out, do carpentry, whatever it took to get me on that project.
- John Ratzenberger

There are times over different projects when I've asked
the writers why people are swearing for no good reason.
I tell them that it would be funnier if there weren't these swear words.
- John Ratzenberger

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

There are two kinds of failures:
those who thought and never did,
and those who did and never thought.
- Laurence J. Peter

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
- Aristotle

Falling in love and having a relationship
are two different things.
- Keanu Reeves

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

A Great Relationship is the Dance of Two Great Lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
- Friedrich Halm

Every tomorrow has two handles.
We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety
or the handle of faith.
- Henry Ward Beecher

We were given:
Two hands to hold.
Two legs to walk.
Two eyes to see.
Two ears to listen.
But why only one heart?
Because the other was given to someone else.
For us to find.
- Anonymous

This is the answer to all questions about relationship.
When two people sing their lives in harmony,
their lives are grand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

At the beginning and at the end of love,
the two lovers are embarrassed to find themselves alone.
- Jean de la Bruyere

Love is a game that two can play and both win.
- Eva Gabor

This communicating of a man's self to his friend
works two contrary effects;
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
- Francis Bacon

Understanding is a two-way street.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
- Aristotle

Friendship is not possible between two women
one of whom is very well dressed.
- Laurie Colwin

Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons
to promote the good and happiness of one another.
- Eustace Budgell

You can make more friends in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get other people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie

Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
- Mencius

Prejudice is a two-edged sword.
Like the steel sort of sword, it's very sharp, very useful,
and very dangerous if not properly mastered.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting.
- The Buddha

There are two things to aim at in life:
first, to get what you want,
and after that to to enjoy it.
- Logan Pearsall Smith

To live a satisfying life requires two steps...
1. Plan your life goals.
2. Act on your plan - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of
you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns,
then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
- Bill Cosby

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am proud to be an American.
Because an American can eat anything on the face of
this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
- Bill Cosby

Pride comes in two flavors -
choose honor, not ego.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children
One is roots, the other is wings.
- Hodding Carter

Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you.
Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.
Love imposes no demands.
Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand - "Make me feel whole."
Love expands beyond the limits of two people.
Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.
- Deepak Chopra in The Path to Love

People generally complain about only two things:
when they have less than yesterday,
and when they have less than their neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George

The Two Great Lessons of Life: Choose Love & Trust God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Two little words that can make the difference: START NOW.
- Mary C. Crowley

We have two ears and one mouth so that
we can listen twice as much as we speak.
- Epictetus


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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