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There's something about Marxism that brings out warts;
by P. J. O'Rourke

There's something about Marxism that brings out warts;
the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration,
the rich will pay for everything.
The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration,
you're rich.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Feeling good about government is like looking on the
bright side of any catastrophe.
When you quit looking on the bright side,
the catastrophe is still there.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Staying married may have long-term benefits.
You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over
a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
- P. J. O'Rourke

 

Never wear anything that panics the cat.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Giving money and power to government is like giving
whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Every government is a parliament of whores.
The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
- P. J. O'Rourke

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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation,
the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure,
are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.
- P. J. O'Rourke

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery
when they aren't present.
- P. J. O'Rourke

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative.
Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk.
This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve,
when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
- P. J. O'Rourke

You know your children are growing up when they stop
asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
- P. J. O'Rourke

America wasn't founded so that we could all be better.
America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose
with the exception of guppies,
who like to eat theirs.
- P. J. O'Rourke

If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer,
a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.
- P. J. O'Rourke

You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Children must be considered in a divorce considered
valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights.
Politics are a lousy way to get things done.
Politics are, like God's infinite mercy,
a last resort.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Always read something that will make you look good
if you die in the middle of it.
- P. J. O'Rourke

You may be surprised to discover you're rich,
especially if you're broke.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Whatever it is that the government does,
sensible Americans would prefer that the government
does it to somebody else.
This is the idea behind foreign policy.
- P. J. O'Rourke

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,
slow your mind, make you fat - in other words,
turn you into an adult.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There is only one basic human right,
the right to do as you damn well please.
And with it comes the only basic human duty,
the duty to take the consequences.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes.
And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
- P. J. O'Rourke

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and
left off for the rest of your life.
Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Everybody knows how to raise children,
except the people who have them.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There is one thing women can never take away from men.
We die sooner.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Even very young children need to be informed about dying.
Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child.
This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter,
taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn.
The Republicans are the party that says government
doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern,
like bad wallpaper.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Never fight an inanimate object.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools -
and use it on the teachers.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There's one more terrifying fact about old people:
I'm going to be one soon.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting
dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The Clinton administration launched an attack on people
in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns.
Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns.
Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
- P. J. O'Rourke

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look.
It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose,
I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
- P. J. O'Rourke

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a
party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself;
if that were their sole purpose,
they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
- P. J. O'Rourke

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents,
worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office.
And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
- P. J. O'Rourke

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience."
Then again,
I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience."
It makes me feel less stupid.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society.
If we're looking for the source of our troubles,
we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ignorance, greed and love of power.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford

If you love something, set it free;
if it comes back it's yours,
if it doesn't, it never was.
- Richard Bach

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are
something to do,
something to love,
and something to hope for.
- Joseph Addison

When a person doesn't have gratitude,
something is missing in his or her humanity.
A person can almost be defined by
his or her attitude toward gratitude.
- Elie Wiesel

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Well, it seems to me that the best relationships -
the ones that last -
are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship.
You know, one day you look at the person
and you see something more than you did the night before.
Like a switch has been flicked somewhere.
And the person who was just a friend is...
suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
- Dana Scully

Fear of something is at the root of hate for others,
and hate within will eventually destroy the hater.
- George Washington Carver

Our desires always disappoint us;
for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction,
yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.
- Elbert Hubbard

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung

Anything I can not transform
into something marvelous, I let go.
- Anais Nin

We disrespect ourselves and our free-will
whenever we say that we NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Impart as much as you can of your spiritual being
to those who are on the road with you,
and accept as something precious
what comes back to you from them.
- Albert Schweitzer

I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new,
meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Our ordinary mind always tries to persuade us
that we are nothing but acorns
and that our greatest happiness will be
to become bigger, fatter, shinier acorns;
but that is of interest only to pigs.
Our faith gives us knowledge of something better:
that we can become oak trees.
- E. F. Schumacher

Stand up to your obstacles
and do something about them.
You will find that they haven't
half the strength you think they have.
- Norman Vincent Peale


Thank you for visiting: There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; by P. J. O'Rourke.

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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