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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars. ...
by Garrison Keillor

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
- Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor PHOTO

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
- Garrison Keillor

 

Thank you, God, for this good life
and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
They seem not to notice us, hovering,
averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks,
but what we do for them is never wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table -
There's nothing wrong with them,
but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
- Garrison Keillor

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Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye,
and deny it.
- Garrison Keillor

I want to resume the life of a shy person.
- Garrison Keillor

I think the most un-American thing you can say is,
'You can't say that.'
- Garrison Keillor

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire.
With air conditioning their windows were shut,
they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
- Garrison Keillor

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong,
all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
- Garrison Keillor

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a
lousy newspaper is a joy forever.
- Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother
laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
- Garrison Keillor

A book is a gift you can open again and again.
- Garrison Keillor

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that,
everyone chortles.
- Garrison Keillor

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed,
one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
- Garrison Keillor

A minister has to be able to read a clock.
At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast
and get the peas out of the freezer.
- Garrison Keillor

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and
the decades cannot improve.
- Garrison Keillor

They say such nice things about people at their funerals
that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
- Garrison Keillor

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory,
like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
- Garrison Keillor

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
- Garrison Keillor

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.
- Garrison Keillor

I'm not busy...
a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't
think my schedule looked so busy.
- Garrison Keillor

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you
wanted but getting what you have,
which once you have got it you may be smart enough
to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
- Garrison Keillor

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Shallow men believe in luck.
Strong men believe in cause and effect.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

Shallow understanding from people of good will
is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding
from people of ill will.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

For sleep, one needs endless depths of blackness to sink into;
daylight is too shallow,
it will not cover one.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the
pool or you go out in the ocean.
- Christopher Reeve

Under all speech that is good for anything there lies
a silence that is better,
Silence is deep as Eternity; speech is shallow as Time.
- Thomas Carlyle

To live for some future goal is shallow.
It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life,
not the top.
- Robert M. Pirsig

We didn't start out to make a protest record at all.
That would have been too shallow.
As usual, it was simply a case of absorbing what's going on around us.
- Thom Yorke

To live only for some future goal is shallow.
It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life,
not the top.
- Robert M. Pirsig

I'm not here to put down men, God love them and I'm married to one,
but I do think they are more shallow.
- Sharon Gless

There aren't enough good journalists.
There are too many who really weren't groomed to be reporters and,
as a result, some of the reporting is shallow.
- Will McDonough

I remember in Shallow Grave I remember a few times
when we'd only have to do one take.
But when you did have to do more than one,
you'd build on the one you'd done.
- Ewan McGregor

The rational mind of man is a shallow thing,
a shore upon a continent of the irrational,
wherein thin colonies of reason have settled amid a savage world.
- Wilford O. Cross

But, in fairness to them, too, the popular song per
se is really a pretty shallow medium to perform in.
- Mel Torme

It's a good thing Winston Churchill was around before
the shallow age of television.
He might never have become one of the greatest leaders of all time.
- Neil Cavuto

Through shallow intellect, the mind becomes shallow,
and one eats the fly, along with the sweets.
- Guru Nanak

The shallow consider liberty a release from all law,
from every constraint.
The wise man sees in it, on the contrary,
the potent Law of Laws.
- Walt Whitman

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as
you're insightful about it.
- Dennis Miller

Hemingway never grew out of adolescence.
His scope and depth stayed shallow because he had no idea what women are for.
- Rex Stout

Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties.
- Barbara Walters

Deep-versed in books and shallow in himself.
- John Milton

I think, on the whole, men are much more shallow than women.
- Sharon Gless

It is a ship with a great deal of sail but a very shallow keel.
- Robert Bork

As a rule, I am very careful to be shallow and conventional
where depth and originality are wasted.
- Lucy Maud Montgomery

There is no change - I'm as deep or as shallow as I ever was.
What's new is on-the-job experience.
This is what you gain with years.
- Gordon Getty

The standard entertainment industry reaction to Hollywood's
box office slump reveals the same shallow,
materialistic mindset that helped create the problem in the first place.
- Michael Medved

Silence is as deep as eternity, speech a shallow as time.
- Thomas Carlyle

The most important thing I learned as a foreign correspondent
in about 80 countries is that it takes a very shallow
knowledge of history to think that there are solutions to most problems.
- Robert D. Kaplan

In the shallow parts of many Swiss lakes,
where there is a depth of no more than from 5 to 15 feet of water,
ancient wooden piles are observed at the bottom sometimes
worn down to the surface of the mud,
sometimes projecting slightly above it.
- Charles Lyell

I don't like Los Angeles.
The people are awful and terribly shallow,
and everybody wants to be famous but nobody wants to play the game.
I'm from New York.
I will kill to get what I need.
- Lady Gaga

I know this is silly, it's shallow, it's bad,
I wish I wasn't this way-but if I meet a girl with no teeth,
I just don't want to date her.
It's creepy of me, I wish I was a bigger person,
but that's my real turn-off.
- Peter Farrelly

I am going to get political on you.
Because I am the most shallow person in the world,
my mission is to see men's formal wear change a little bit.
It is too rigid!
Everybody looks like a penguin!
- Steven Cojocaru

The picture has made its million back in four months;
I have been overwhelmed by letters,
hundreds of them, literally, begging me in my next
production not to swing over the shallow trash of mother love,
father love, sister love, brother love.
- Erich von Stroheim

A particularly fine head on a man usually means that he is stupid;
particularly deep philosophers are usually shallow thinkers;
in literature,
talents not much above the average are usually regarded
by their contemporaries as geniuses.
- Robert Musil

Though everything else may appear shallow and repulsive,
even the smallest task in music is so absorbing,
and carries us so far away from town,
country, earth, and all worldly things,
that it is truly a blessed gift of God.
- Felix Mendelssohn

The TV business is uglier than most things.
It is normally perceived as some kind of cruel and
shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism industry,
a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run
free and good men die like dogs,
for no good reason.
- Hunter S. Thompson

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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