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They say such nice things about people at their funerals
by Garrison Keillor

They say such nice things about people at their funerals
that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
- Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor PHOTO

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
- Garrison Keillor

 

Thank you, God, for this good life
and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
- Garrison Keillor

A minister has to be able to read a clock.
At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast
and get the peas out of the freezer.
- Garrison Keillor

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A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a
lousy newspaper is a joy forever.
- Garrison Keillor

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye,
and deny it.
- Garrison Keillor

I'm not busy...
a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't
think my schedule looked so busy.
- Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother
laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
- Garrison Keillor

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong,
all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
- Garrison Keillor

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
- Garrison Keillor

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory,
like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
- Garrison Keillor

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.
- Garrison Keillor

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table -
There's nothing wrong with them,
but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
- Garrison Keillor

I think the most un-American thing you can say is,
'You can't say that.'
- Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
They seem not to notice us, hovering,
averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks,
but what we do for them is never wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

I want to resume the life of a shy person.
- Garrison Keillor

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and
the decades cannot improve.
- Garrison Keillor

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire.
With air conditioning their windows were shut,
they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
- Garrison Keillor

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed,
one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
- Garrison Keillor

A book is a gift you can open again and again.
- Garrison Keillor

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that,
everyone chortles.
- Garrison Keillor

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you
wanted but getting what you have,
which once you have got it you may be smart enough
to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
- Garrison Keillor

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever you do, do with kindness.
Whatever you say, say with kindness.
Wherever you go, radiate kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Say NO to the demands of the world.
Say YES to the longings of your own heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

Just because it's true, I say as often as I can
in as many ways as I can form, "I sure love you."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Imagine all the people living life in peace.
You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us,
and the world will be as one.
- John Lennon

Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz

Humans are allergic to change.
They love to say, "We've always done it this way."
- Grace Hopper

Life is a nurturing mother,
when you just remember to say "thank you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's work only if I say it's work,
but it's play if I say it's fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Know the power of kindness.
Whatever you do, do with kindness.
Whatever you say, say with kindness.
Wherever you go,
radiate your kindness to all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing others do is because of you.
What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where there is unconditional love,
there is no room for unhappiness.
Whenever I look in the mirror today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you don't say.
- Anonymous

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

We disrespect ourselves and our free-will
whenever we say that we NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

So long as the memory of certain
beloved friends lives in my heart,
I shall say that life is good.
- Helen Keller

Deep in my heart I'm concealing things
that I'm longing to say.
Scared to confess what I'm feeling -
frightened you'll slip away.
- the movie Evita

A man never knows how to say goodbye;
a woman never knows when to say it.
- Helen Rowland

You see things and you say, Why?
But I dream things that never were and say, Why not
- George Bernard Shaw

We have to let go of all blame, all attacking, all judging,
to free our inner selves to attract what we say we want.
- Joe Vitale

Mind what people do, not only what they say,
for deeds will betray a lie.
- Terry Goodkind

Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore.
There is always something to make you wonder
in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf.
- Albert Schweitzer

When the best leader's work is done the people say,
"We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu

To say "too busy" is merely
to say "confused priorities."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness is when
what you think,
what you say,
and what you do
are in harmony.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel

I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,
and not rather a new wearer of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Never allow a person to tell you NO
who doesn't have the power to say YES.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.
- Epictetus

If a million people say a foolish thing,
it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

Do not say, "It is morning,"
and dismiss it with a name of yesterday.
See it for the first time
as a newborn child that has no name.
- Rabindranath Tagore

It is difficult to say what is impossible,
for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today
and the reality of tomorrow.
- Robert H. Goddard

What old people say you cannot do,
you try and find that you can.
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau

A good-bye is never painful unless
you're never going to say hello again.
- Anonymous

Today is a Happy Day because I say it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Grace isn't just a little prayer
you say before receiving a meal.
It's a way to live.
- Jackie Windspear

The great pleasure in life is doing
what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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