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A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative.
by P. J. O'Rourke

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative.
Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.
- P. J. O'Rourke

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation,
the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Never wear anything that panics the cat.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Staying married may have long-term benefits.
You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over
a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
- P. J. O'Rourke

 

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration,
the rich will pay for everything.
The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration,
you're rich.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Feeling good about government is like looking on the
bright side of any catastrophe.
When you quit looking on the bright side,
the catastrophe is still there.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Giving money and power to government is like giving
whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
- P. J. O'Rourke

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Every government is a parliament of whores.
The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
- P. J. O'Rourke

If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer,
a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There is one thing women can never take away from men.
We die sooner.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Children must be considered in a divorce considered
valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Always read something that will make you look good
if you die in the middle of it.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter,
taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn.
The Republicans are the party that says government
doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure,
are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes.
And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
- P. J. O'Rourke

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,
slow your mind, make you fat - in other words,
turn you into an adult.
- P. J. O'Rourke

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and
left off for the rest of your life.
Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Everybody knows how to raise children,
except the people who have them.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting
dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There's something about Marxism that brings out warts;
the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
- P. J. O'Rourke

You may be surprised to discover you're rich,
especially if you're broke.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern,
like bad wallpaper.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk.
This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve,
when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights.
Politics are a lousy way to get things done.
Politics are, like God's infinite mercy,
a last resort.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Never fight an inanimate object.
- P. J. O'Rourke

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
- P. J. O'Rourke

America wasn't founded so that we could all be better.
America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.
- P. J. O'Rourke

You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Even very young children need to be informed about dying.
Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child.
This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Whatever it is that the government does,
sensible Americans would prefer that the government
does it to somebody else.
This is the idea behind foreign policy.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There is only one basic human right,
the right to do as you damn well please.
And with it comes the only basic human duty,
the duty to take the consequences.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery
when they aren't present.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools -
and use it on the teachers.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose
with the exception of guppies,
who like to eat theirs.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There's one more terrifying fact about old people:
I'm going to be one soon.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
- P. J. O'Rourke

You know your children are growing up when they stop
asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
- P. J. O'Rourke

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a
party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself;
if that were their sole purpose,
they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
- P. J. O'Rourke

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents,
worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office.
And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society.
If we're looking for the source of our troubles,
we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ignorance, greed and love of power.
- P. J. O'Rourke

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience."
Then again,
I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience."
It makes me feel less stupid.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The Clinton administration launched an attack on people
in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns.
Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns.
Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
- P. J. O'Rourke

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look.
It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose,
I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day, saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

My quiet voice speaks the loudest.
- Richard Carlson

Pay attention to rainbows, and snowflakes,
butterflies and the songs of birds,
the crash of storm-driven waves
and the mirror-surface of a quiet pond.
Let the depths of nature become a part of your innermost being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experiences of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened,
vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.
- Helen Keller

Never "for the sake of peace and quiet"
deny your own experience or convictions.
- Dag Hammarskjold

Parents are not interested in justice,
they're interested in peace and quiet.
- Bill Cosby

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau

If we will be quiet and ready enough,
we shall find compensation in every disappointment.
- Henry David Thoreau

I was a quiet teenager, introverted,
full of angst.
- Nigella Lawson

The monotony and solitude of a quiet life
stimulates the creative mind.
- Albert Einstein

You are perfect. You are complete.
Your inner voice always knows what to do,
but it is a quiet voice.
You can only hear the whisperings of your inner voice -
your inner compass - when you turn down the volume
of your fears, your regrets, your resentments,
and the fear-based advice
your neighbors are so willing to give you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

Finding some quiet time in your life,
I think, is hugely important.
- Mariel Hemingway

Film spectators are quiet vampires.
- Jim Morrison

Every time I have some moment on a seashore,
or in the mountains, or sometimes in a quiet forest,
I think this is why the environment has to be preserved.
- Bill Bradley

Take some time in a quiet place to contemplate
the balance between being of service -
both to this generation and to generations yet unborn -
and renewing your vitality with play and celebration.
Without play, one becomes old and dry.
Without service, life becomes meaningless.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

O Death, rock me asleep, bring me to quiet rest,
let pass my weary guiltless ghost out of my careful breast.
- Anne Boleyn

I've got to start listening to those quiet,
nagging doubts.
- Bill Watterson

But I do like to have peace and quiet for a good hour.
- Bryan Ferry

You kept quiet...
When these victims wanted your help to survive,
you kept quiet.
- Paul Kagame


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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