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A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street. ...
by Laurence J. Peter

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
- Laurence J. Peter

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter PHOTO

There are two kinds of failures:
those who thought and never did,
and those who did and never thought.
- Laurence J. Peter

Facts are stubborn things,
but statistics are more pliable.
- Laurence J. Peter

 

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not
yet reached their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made
a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
- Laurence J. Peter

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
- Laurence J. Peter

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An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why
the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
- Laurence J. Peter

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind,
what is the significance of a clean desk?
- Laurence J. Peter

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable
force to an immovable object.
- Laurence J. Peter

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses,
is in the eye of the beholder.
- Laurence J. Peter

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it,
and the rest of us.
- Laurence J. Peter

Slump, and the world slumps with you.
Push, and you push alone.
- Laurence J. Peter

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
- Laurence J. Peter

America is a country that doesn't know where it is
going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
- Laurence J. Peter

Democracy is a process by which people are free to
choose the man who will get the blame.
- Laurence J. Peter

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
- Laurence J. Peter

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter

Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian
than going to the garage makes you a car.
- Laurence J. Peter

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before
Father Time takes it away.
- Laurence J. Peter

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you
hear but forgetting where you heard it.
- Laurence J. Peter

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
- Laurence J. Peter

Men now monopolize the upper levels...
depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to
do forty pounds of laundry a week.
- Laurence J. Peter

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing
our parents' shortcomings.
- Laurence J. Peter

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will
establish a reputation as an expert.
- Laurence J. Peter

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart
he would have been not to have taken it.
- Laurence J. Peter

Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees
have to be appointed to do the work.
- Laurence J. Peter

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults,
but if he has faults how can he be perfect?
- Laurence J. Peter

A man convinced against his will is not convinced.
- Laurence J. Peter

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.
Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.
- Laurence J. Peter

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time
when the quo has lost its status.
- Laurence J. Peter

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.
- Laurence J. Peter

When in doubt or danger, run in circles,
scream and shout.
- Laurence J. Peter

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell,
and advertise.
- Laurence J. Peter

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
- Laurence J. Peter

The great question is not whether you have failed,
but whether you are content with failure.
- Laurence J. Peter

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks.
A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
- Laurence J. Peter

If you don't know where you're going,
you will probably end up somewhere else.
- Laurence J. Peter

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly
intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
- Laurence J. Peter

As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes
many an expression that isn't.
- Laurence J. Peter

The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls;
the soldier details his wounds,
the shepherd his sheep.
- Laurence J. Peter

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
- Laurence J. Peter

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.
- Laurence J. Peter

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
- Laurence J. Peter

A pessimist is never disappointed.
- Jack Cleary

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere,
while the pessimist sees only the red stoplight.
The truly wise person is colorblind.
- Albert Schweitzer

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
- Winston Churchill

No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars,
or sailed to an uncharted land,
or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
- Helen Keller

Every optimist moves along with progress and hastens it,
while every pessimist would keep the worlds at a standstill.
The consequence of pessimism in the life of a nation
is the same as in the life of the individual.
Pessimism kills the instinct that
urges men to struggle against poverty,
ignorance and crime, and dries up
all the fountains of joy in the world.
- Helen Keller

I vehemently deny that I was born a cynic and a pessimist.
- Paul Getty

I'm not a pessimist, even though I do think awful things are going to happen.
- James Lovelock

A pessimist is a man who tells the truth prematurely.
- Edmond Rostand

I'm sort of a pessimist about tomorrow and an optimist
about the day after tomorrow.
- Eric Sevareid

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in.
A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
- Bill Vaughan

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are
constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
- George Will

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds,
and the pessimist fears this is true.
- James Branch Cabell

I am not a pessimist; to perceive evil where it exists is,
in my opinion, a form of optimism.
- Roberto Rossellini

No Christian can be a pessimist, for Christianity is
a system of radical optimism.
- William Ralph Inge

I guess I'm a hopeful optimist, because to be a pessimist is to be suicidal.
- Peter Benchley

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain

I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned.
- Colin Mochrie

I don't consider myself a pessimist.
I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain.
And I feel soaked to the skin.
- Leonard Cohen

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds.
The pessimist fears it is true.
- J. Robert Oppenheimer

A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air.
- Walter Winchell

The difference between an optimist and a pessimist?
An optimist laughs to forget,
but a pessimist forgets to laugh.
- Tom Bodett

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad.
An optimist is one who hopes they are.
- Chauncey Depew


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