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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure,
by P. J. O'Rourke

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure,
are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration,
the rich will pay for everything.
The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration,
you're rich.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Staying married may have long-term benefits.
You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over
a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Feeling good about government is like looking on the
bright side of any catastrophe.
When you quit looking on the bright side,
the catastrophe is still there.
- P. J. O'Rourke

 

Giving money and power to government is like giving
whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Every government is a parliament of whores.
The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
- P. J. O'Rourke

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation,
the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
- P. J. O'Rourke

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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
- P. J. O'Rourke

You know your children are growing up when they stop
asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter,
taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn.
The Republicans are the party that says government
doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
- P. J. O'Rourke

If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer,
a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Everybody knows how to raise children,
except the people who have them.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There's something about Marxism that brings out warts;
the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Even very young children need to be informed about dying.
Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child.
This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Never fight an inanimate object.
- P. J. O'Rourke

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative.
Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
- P. J. O'Rourke

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose
with the exception of guppies,
who like to eat theirs.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There is only one basic human right,
the right to do as you damn well please.
And with it comes the only basic human duty,
the duty to take the consequences.
- P. J. O'Rourke

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and
left off for the rest of your life.
Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Always read something that will make you look good
if you die in the middle of it.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There's one more terrifying fact about old people:
I'm going to be one soon.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes.
And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
- P. J. O'Rourke

America wasn't founded so that we could all be better.
America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools -
and use it on the teachers.
- P. J. O'Rourke

You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
- P. J. O'Rourke

You may be surprised to discover you're rich,
especially if you're broke.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Whatever it is that the government does,
sensible Americans would prefer that the government
does it to somebody else.
This is the idea behind foreign policy.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk.
This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve,
when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery
when they aren't present.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Children must be considered in a divorce considered
valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.
- P. J. O'Rourke

There is one thing women can never take away from men.
We die sooner.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting
dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern,
like bad wallpaper.
- P. J. O'Rourke

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health,
slow your mind, make you fat - in other words,
turn you into an adult.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights.
Politics are a lousy way to get things done.
Politics are, like God's infinite mercy,
a last resort.
- P. J. O'Rourke

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents,
worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office.
And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look.
It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose,
I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
- P. J. O'Rourke

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a
party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself;
if that were their sole purpose,
they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society.
If we're looking for the source of our troubles,
we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ignorance, greed and love of power.
- P. J. O'Rourke

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience."
Then again,
I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience."
It makes me feel less stupid.
- P. J. O'Rourke

The Clinton administration launched an attack on people
in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns.
Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns.
Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
- P. J. O'Rourke

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird
or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet.
- Hal Borland

Ideology has very little to do with 'consciousness' -
it is profoundly unconscious.
- Louis Althusser

Faith in God's revelation has nothing to do with an
ideology which glorifies the status quo.
- Karl Barth

He who stands aloof runs the risk of believing himself
better than others and misusing his critique of society
as an ideology for his private interest.
- Theodor Adorno

I believe there is little to gain by exchanging opinions
with other artists concerning either the ideology of
art or technical methods.
- Yves Tanguy

Although, this is often used with negative connotations,
I see ideology as an inherent part of culture.
- Dario Fo

If any ideology is so serious that you can't have fun while you're doing it,
it's probably too serious.
- Larry Wall

How can you tell when a political ideology has become
the equivalent of a religion?
- Andrew Sullivan

I think that pop, and to some extent rock,
are like sport and fashion industry in that they're
about the exuberance of youth.
That's the sort of subliminal ideology.
- Robert Wyatt

Great ideology creates great times.
- Kim Jong Il

Political ideology can corrupt the mind,
and science.
- E. O. Wilson

If across the Atlantic the ideology was pride,
here it is delivering the goods.
- Theodor Adorno

The ideology of capitalism makes us all into connoisseurs of liberty -
of the indefinite expansion of possibility.
- Susan Sontag

Those looking for ideology in the White House should consider this:
For the men who rule our world,
rules are for other people.
- Naomi Klein

I like villains because there's something so attractive
about a committed person -
they have a plan,
an ideology, no matter how twisted.
They're motivated.
- Russell Crowe

Admiration of the proletariat, like that of dams,
power stations, and aeroplanes, is part of the ideology of the machine age.
- Bertrand Russell

Ostensibly rigorous and realistic, contemporary conservatism
is an ideology of denial.
Its symbol is a smile button.
- Christopher Lasch

Life has become the ideology of its own absence.
- Theodor Adorno

Liberalism is a most important by-product of Rationalism,
and its origins and ideology must be clearly shown.
- Francis Parker Yockey

Sometimes, if you wear suits for too long,
it changes your ideology.
- Joe Slovo

There is no religion in which everyday life is not considered a prison;
there is no philosophy or ideology that does not think
that we live in alienation.
- Eugene Ionesco

The Third World is not a reality but an ideology.
- Hannah Arendt


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