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America is a country that doesn't know where it is
by Laurence J. Peter

America is a country that doesn't know where it is
going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
- Laurence J. Peter

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter PHOTO

There are two kinds of failures:
those who thought and never did,
and those who did and never thought.
- Laurence J. Peter

Facts are stubborn things,
but statistics are more pliable.
- Laurence J. Peter

 

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made
a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
- Laurence J. Peter

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why
the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
- Laurence J. Peter

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
- Laurence J. Peter

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Work is accomplished by those employees who have not
yet reached their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter

Slump, and the world slumps with you.
Push, and you push alone.
- Laurence J. Peter

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before
Father Time takes it away.
- Laurence J. Peter

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it,
and the rest of us.
- Laurence J. Peter

If you don't know where you're going,
you will probably end up somewhere else.
- Laurence J. Peter

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.
- Laurence J. Peter

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter

Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees
have to be appointed to do the work.
- Laurence J. Peter

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell,
and advertise.
- Laurence J. Peter

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
- Laurence J. Peter

Democracy is a process by which people are free to
choose the man who will get the blame.
- Laurence J. Peter

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter

When in doubt or danger, run in circles,
scream and shout.
- Laurence J. Peter

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you
hear but forgetting where you heard it.
- Laurence J. Peter

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable
force to an immovable object.
- Laurence J. Peter

The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls;
the soldier details his wounds,
the shepherd his sheep.
- Laurence J. Peter

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing
our parents' shortcomings.
- Laurence J. Peter

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to
do forty pounds of laundry a week.
- Laurence J. Peter

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults,
but if he has faults how can he be perfect?
- Laurence J. Peter

A man convinced against his will is not convinced.
- Laurence J. Peter

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses,
is in the eye of the beholder.
- Laurence J. Peter

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.
- Laurence J. Peter

Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian
than going to the garage makes you a car.
- Laurence J. Peter

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will
establish a reputation as an expert.
- Laurence J. Peter

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time
when the quo has lost its status.
- Laurence J. Peter

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
- Laurence J. Peter

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly
intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
- Laurence J. Peter

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
- Laurence J. Peter

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
- Laurence J. Peter

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.
Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.
- Laurence J. Peter

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind,
what is the significance of a clean desk?
- Laurence J. Peter

As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes
many an expression that isn't.
- Laurence J. Peter

Men now monopolize the upper levels...
depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
- Laurence J. Peter

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
- Laurence J. Peter

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
- Laurence J. Peter

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart
he would have been not to have taken it.
- Laurence J. Peter

The great question is not whether you have failed,
but whether you are content with failure.
- Laurence J. Peter

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks.
A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
- Laurence J. Peter

If you're going to America, bring your own food.
- Fran Lebowitz

Pushing production out of America to nations without
our environmental standards increases global environmental risks.
- Frank Murkowski

September 11th was a moment when America had the sympathy of the world.
- Tom Ford

In America, I would say New York and New Orleans are
the two most interesting food towns.
In New Orleans, they don't have a bad deli.
There's no mediocrity accepted.
- Mario Batali

I think the greatest taboos in America are faith and failure.
- Michael Malone

America has a critical role to play as the most powerful
member of the world community.
- Adam Schiff

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things
no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving
America a new sense of purpose.
- Andy Rooney

In America there are two classes of travel -
first class,
and with children.
- Robert Benchley

Power in America today is control of the means of communication.
- Theodore White

America is the best half-educated country in the world.
- Nicholas M. Butler

Boxing has become America's tragic theater.
- Joyce Carol Oates

I love America more than any other country in this world,
and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right
to criticize her perpetually.
- James A. Baldwin

I get all fired up about aging in America.
- Willard Scott

Patriotism is easy to understand in America.
It means looking out for yourself by looking out for your country.
- Calvin Coolidge

America cannot continue to lead the family of nations
around the world if we suffer the collapse of the family here at home.
- Mitt Romney

The largest party in America, by the way,
is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans.
It's the party of non-voters.
- Robert Reich

I haven't, in the 23 years that I have been in the
uniformed services of the United States of America,
ever violated an order - not one.
- Oliver North

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list
of the richest people in America.
If I'm not there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty.
I will belong to the select few.
- Will Rogers

America's present need is not heroics but healing;
not nostrums but normalcy; not revolution but restoration.
- Warren G. Harding

America believes in education: the average professor
earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
- Evan Esar

I may be the only mother in America who knows exactly
what their child is up to all the time.
- Barbara Bush


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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