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Quotes about Sitting
by Garrison Keillor

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

Related topics: Cute Whimsey Cynical Funny Religion

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor PHOTO

Thank you, God, for this good life
and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
- Garrison Keillor

 

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother
laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
- Garrison Keillor

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye,
and deny it.
- Garrison Keillor

I want to resume the life of a shy person.
- Garrison Keillor

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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
They seem not to notice us, hovering,
averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks,
but what we do for them is never wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
- Garrison Keillor

A minister has to be able to read a clock.
At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast
and get the peas out of the freezer.
- Garrison Keillor

A book is a gift you can open again and again.
- Garrison Keillor

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and
the decades cannot improve.
- Garrison Keillor

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory,
like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
- Garrison Keillor

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed,
one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
- Garrison Keillor

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table -
There's nothing wrong with them,
but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
- Garrison Keillor

I'm not busy...
a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't
think my schedule looked so busy.
- Garrison Keillor

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a
lousy newspaper is a joy forever.
- Garrison Keillor

I think the most un-American thing you can say is,
'You can't say that.'
- Garrison Keillor

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire.
With air conditioning their windows were shut,
they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
- Garrison Keillor

They say such nice things about people at their funerals
that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
- Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that,
everyone chortles.
- Garrison Keillor

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.
- Garrison Keillor

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
- Garrison Keillor

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong,
all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
- Garrison Keillor

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you
wanted but getting what you have,
which once you have got it you may be smart enough
to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
- Garrison Keillor

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Gardens are not made by singing 'Oh,
how beautiful,' and sitting in the shade.
- Rudyard Kipling

Walking is Zen, sitting is Zen.
Then what will be the quality?
Watchfully alert, joyously unmotivated,
centered, loving, flowing, one walks.
And the walking is sauntering.
Loving, alert, watchful, one sits, unmotivated -
not sitting for anything in particular,
just enjoying how beautiful
just sitting doing nothing is,
how relaxing, how restful.
- Osho

Sitting down to a meal with an Indian family is different
from sitting down to a meal with a British family.
- Roland Joffe

Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train.
Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going
sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?
- J. Paul Getty

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone
planted a tree a long time ago.
- Les Brown

There is no chance and anarchy in the universe.
All is system and gradation.
Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There's a lot of music that sounds like it's literally computer-generated,
totally divorced from a guy sitting down at an instrument.
- Aimee Mann

My idea of managing is giving the ball to Tom Seaver
and sitting down and watching him work.
- Sparky Anderson

I've got to do something to make up for all those self-absorbed
and selfish years when I just,
you know, was taking drugs, sitting in my room,
doing bad things, whatever.
- Elton John

There's nothing more fun than sitting in a circle playing
with people who are really into it.
- Kathy Mattea

Age is not different from earlier life as long as you're sitting down.
- Malcolm Cowley

I was really nervous, intimidated by the whole thing-all
the people and all the buzzing,
and all the sitting around waiting.
I felt really small in this huge place.
- Kate Moss

Why can't we build orphanages next to homes for the
elderly? If someone were sitting in a rocker,
it wouldn't be long before a kid will be in his lap.
- Cloris Leachman

I'm a history buff, and right now we're sitting on
one of the most dramatic historical shifts that this
planet has ever seen and we have a front row seat for it.
- James Daly

Life is to be lived.
If you have to support yourself, you had bloody well
better find some way that is going to be interesting.
And you don't do that by sitting around.
- Katharine Hepburn

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
- Ogden Nash

I was very happy sitting alone at a dining room table,
writing a script.
- Conrad Hall

People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick.
I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never
looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
- Mitch Hedberg

Going to a party, for me, is as much a learning experience as,
you know, sitting in a lecture.
- Natalie Portman

We're way overdue on a woman sitting in one of those Big Three chairs.
- Elizabeth Vargas

Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater.
- Roman Polanski

I love comics.
All I've been doing is reading every day,
sitting in the house.
Because I've not been feeling too good,
so I've been reading and reading.
- Jason Mewes

I've only got one wrinkle, and I'm sitting on it.
- Jeanne Calment

Sitting in this chair, my recommendation would carry too much weight.
- Michael Ritchie

I don't like giving speeches - I enjoy sitting on my rump.
- Karen Morley

If you're sitting in that audience ready to fight me from the very beginning,
I'm going to have a hard time getting to you.
But if you've got a heart at all, I'm going to get it.
- Betty Carter

We've evolved from sitting back on our tripods and
shooting wildlife films like they have been shot historically,
which doesn't work for us.
- Steve Irwin

I'll just be sitting down having dinner with girlfriends
or something and people come up and ruin the dinner.
- Holly Valance

What an elder sees sitting; the young can't see standing.
- Gustave Flaubert

I'm not one for walking the beaches humming a melody.
I love the discipline of sitting in the studio,
writing and listening.
That is my domain.
- Enya

In jail I was just like everybody else,
I was sitting there praying, feeling caged.
- Dennis Rodman

Does anybody think these people were just sitting around drinking tea?
- Condoleezza Rice

I don't like sitting around sets - I don't like the unpredictability of it.
- Andrea Martin

My room for books and study or for sitting and thinking
about nothing in particular to see what would happen
was at the end of a hall.
- Carl Sandburg

I just like to entertain myself by sitting down and writing songs.
- Richard Thompson

When you're bringing in a fairly unknown candidate
challenging a sitting president,
the population needs a lot more information than reduced coverage provides.
- Walter Cronkite

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
- Robert Benchley

I'm blessed with a pretty good voice.
So just sitting back there banging on the tubs wasn't enough.
- Don Henley

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road.
We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of
experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Stand, you've been sitting much too long,
there's a permanent crease in your right or wrong.
- Sly Stone

Country and western is ignored by the intellectuals.
They don't look at it as an art form.
They think it's just somebody sitting on his couch singing about his life.
- Ricky Skaggs

At the risk of being a fuddy-duddy I don't have a computer;
I don't have e-mail; and I really don't need something
in my house that I would be sitting in front of for hours.
- Marian McPartland

I like the fact you can spend two hours setting up
a scene that will only last a couple of seconds.
And I like just sitting around and dozing between scenes!
- Mackenzie Crook

Usually, I don't want to sit down and listen to the
director gas on about his movie.
I just can't actually imagine myself sitting down and having that much to say.
- Joel Coen


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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