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Quotes about Christian
by Garrison Keillor

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

Related topics: Cute Whimsey Cynical Funny Religion

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor PHOTO

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
- Garrison Keillor

Thank you, God, for this good life
and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor

 

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye,
and deny it.
- Garrison Keillor

A minister has to be able to read a clock.
At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast
and get the peas out of the freezer.
- Garrison Keillor

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that,
everyone chortles.
- Garrison Keillor

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They say such nice things about people at their funerals
that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
- Garrison Keillor

I think the most un-American thing you can say is,
'You can't say that.'
- Garrison Keillor

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire.
With air conditioning their windows were shut,
they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
- Garrison Keillor

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table -
There's nothing wrong with them,
but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
- Garrison Keillor

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory,
like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
- Garrison Keillor

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.
- Garrison Keillor

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and
the decades cannot improve.
- Garrison Keillor

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
They seem not to notice us, hovering,
averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks,
but what we do for them is never wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
- Garrison Keillor

A book is a gift you can open again and again.
- Garrison Keillor

I want to resume the life of a shy person.
- Garrison Keillor

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother
laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
- Garrison Keillor

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong,
all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
- Garrison Keillor

I'm not busy...
a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't
think my schedule looked so busy.
- Garrison Keillor

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
- Garrison Keillor

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a
lousy newspaper is a joy forever.
- Garrison Keillor

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed,
one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
- Garrison Keillor

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you
wanted but getting what you have,
which once you have got it you may be smart enough
to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
- Garrison Keillor

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17

A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa

Do not let Sunday be taken from you.
If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan.
- Albert Schweitzer

You have heard that it was said,
"Love your neighbor and hate your enemy."
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
- Matthew 5:43-44

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted,
every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made straight
and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed
and all flesh shall see it together.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther

Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
- Matthew 7:7

A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

Love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
- Mother Teresa

Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
- Joseph Addison

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Comfort and prosperity have never enriched
the world as much as adversity has.
- Billy Graham

We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- St. Francis of Assisi

The will of God will never take you
to where the grace of God will not protect you.
- Anonymous

Christian voters should start looking
at global warming and extreme poverty
as religious issues that speak to the culture of life.
- Al Franken

Humility is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
- Rick Warren (author of The Purpose Driven(R) Life)

The great gift of Easter is hope -
Christian hope which makes us have that confidence in God,
in his ultimate triumph, and in his goodness and love,
which nothing can shake.
- Basil C. Hume

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud. It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
- Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

We are all pencils in the hand of God.
- Mother Teresa

No man ever prayed heartily without learning something.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- The Bible

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The miracle is not that we do this work,
but that we are happy to do it.
- Mother Teresa

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
- St Francis of Assisi

Forgive Your Brother from Your Heart.
- Matthew 18:21-22

It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister,
to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart.
Having said this, I have said all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1

When all is said and done,
the one sole condition that makes
spiritual happiness and preserves it
is the absence of doubt.
- Mark Twain

To be a Christian without prayer
is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you believe in forever,
then life is just a one night stand.
- The Righteous Brothers

Let us touch the dying, the poor,
the lonely and the unwanted
according to the graces we have received
and let us not be ashamed
or slow to do the humble work.
- Mother Teresa

This too, shall pass.
- Bible

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- Proverbs 23:7

If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15

Let us not be satisfied with just giving money.
Money is not enough, money can be got,
but they need your hearts to love them.
So, spread your love everywhere you go.
- Mother Teresa

As you sow, so shall you reap.
- Galatians 6:7


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